Just breathing

After writing my last post I have heard from so many people lamenting that they too are out of balance. As if my confession of losing it inspired others to examine their lives or at least understand what is going on. I spent a good deal of yesterday just hanging with my kids, after camp of course. I made dinner, red beans and rice, had help from a boy, made banana bread, cleaned a boys room, had a baby otter birthday party, listed items and generally attempted to come to terms with life in the summer. It's busy! It's tiring! It's lovely!
Schedules are off, kids are up late, I'm up late, the sheer physical energy exerted is phenomenal, so it does stand to reason that things slip. What I needed to do was figure out what matters, what things make me feel like a failure and what can wait. The last one, what can wait, is a biggie. I like things to get done, and I feel a little unhinged when things aren't done. So the big list I made yesterday is on an old white board, above the fridge in our kitchen, a reminder that these are small things I can get done to help me feel less unhinged.
Kids. The big hurdle to getting things done. They must be taken care of, hugged, listened to, unhurried, reprimanded, fed, bandaged, kissed, gotten up, put down, read to, sung to, hustled, reminded, watered, cleaned up, herded, talked with, bathed, danced with, artistically enriched, walked, snuggled, swatted, brushed, driven and above all, loved. Above EVERYTHING, loved. Even above the list to get done. GASP.
And perhaps that is where my balance comes in to play, kids>getting things done or getting things done>kids or getting things done=kids. Ahhhhh the tightrope of life, thankfully not in clown shoes.
Yesterday was all about dialing back the stuff that needs to get done list to manageable, acknowledging the wait list and making sure my kids KNOW I am there physically and mentally. Completely hinged, if that's possible for me.

Peace and Love-